What keeps you going when you just want to quit?

back to blogging, here i go ...

1. i can do it.
it's always been very easy for me to give up on things, i would get to a certain point and say to myself "what are you doing? why are you trying? you're just setting yourself up to fail." yea, my mind worked against me a lot. yet, i've realized that i wasn't giving myself a chance to succeed. i was too afraid of failure, i'd end up sabotaging myself. i need to allow myself to make mistakes. one mistake does not equal failure.

2. my peeps
yea, that's right. YOU! having a support system always helps. having people around you saying "damn, this s*** is hard!" or "i can't feel my legs"- helps to remind me that, yes, it's tough. it's tough for everyone, not just me. i'm not the only one looking at the tv going - "um, my body doesn't do that!" do the squats and then go to friends for a healthy dinner and vent about how you want to throw the skinny chick with the spandex into lake michigan. there is a good ebb and flow when you know other people that are working towards the same goal. you can complain to each other, laugh at how ridiculous you feel doing hip circles and hydrants, exchange stories of recently discovered muscles, all while encouraging each other to continue on and stay on track.

3. the numbers.
seeing the dreaded number go down ... that's a fabulous feeling. an accomplished feeling. it gives you proof that what you are doing is working. plus, having to report those numbers to the peeps mentioned above, helps keep me on track. most days.

4. the mirror.
i want to see what others see. the other day, i was told by a friend that i was beautiful. i laughed at him. not to be rude, but because i just don't see it. i try. i look in the mirror and i just don't see it. i want to reach a point where i am happy with myself. there isn't a number or size connected to my happiness - just a feeling. if i know that i am working on getting healthy and taking good care of myself, then hopefully that girl in the mirror will be able to say "hell yea, i'm beautiful!" ... but i'll probably still laugh when i say it :)