meh.
i went christmas shopping today ... which is really hard to do when you don't have any money. since i spent the entire day walking around i decided that i'd give myself a break tonight. ok, so maybe i'm just too tired and lazy to work out tonight. i need to find a way not to lose my motivation. it's amazing how something can inspire you one day then depress you the next. i know what i want, but it's hard to not fall into that "that's nice, but completely impossible" mindset.
on a positive note, i went to my cousin isabelle's christmas program on monday. i swear she is the most adorable miniature in the world. while there, i was asked by no less than 4 members of my family if i had lost weight and was told that i looked great. i think it was a trick of whatever i was wearing that night. so what did i do? celebrated with wendy's for dinner. delicious, but not the smartest move.
12.17.2009
12.10.2009
witty list-title to come later ...
taking a page out of the book of 'becca, i've made a list of things that i want to accomplish in this, my 30th year on this planet. eek!
1. send out christmas cards. sounds easy enough, right? yet i haven't done it in years! this will change.
2. do something that scares me. this just sounds interesting. ;)
3. go to a blackhawks game in detroit. this may just be the thing that scares me. my friend and i have been talking about it for a couple years now, but i haven't gone. we have friends that live near the D, so it's possible.
4. attempt to make madelines. i love these french cookies! i ate them everyday for breakfast in london. i've been wanting to make them for years, but haven't gotten around to it.
5. get my portfolio website up. i say this every year. i've gotten as far as designing the homepage, which now needs to be redesigned anyway. i have plenty of friends to help ... so i don't really have an excuse to not do it.
6. have a party. :) because i know fabulous people ... they should mingle.
7. journal my 30th year. stole this one from 'becca. i like the idea of it.
8. try 13 new recipes. i'm in a cooking rut. i need to try some new things. now accepting suggestions.
9. get a job. self-explanatory.
10. write a story. i use to love to write. i'm not saying i was any good at it, but i did enjoy it. i'm not saying anyone gets to read it either, but i'll write it.
11. go see lynn's new place. because any excuse to see lynn works for me.
12. learn something new about myself. i've learned a lot of things about myself this past year that i didn't know. i'd like to continue to do that.
13. visit 3 places i've never been. travel, travel, travel ... let's go! anyone have money?
14. make a pocket calendar. mainly because i want a pretty one.
15. go tanning. i've never been tanning before. i really need it, i am so white, i blind people as i walk by. so i must try tanning for the safety of the public.
16. secret. i don't know if i'll ever actually say what this goal is, but i will let you know if i accomplish it.
17. paint my office. i have the paint, but that's the closest i've come in 3 years to actually getting it done. hopefully i'll get it painted and then move out.
18. re-import all the music i lost when my hard drive crashed. blasted hard drive.
19. exercise more. because i need it. i need to somehow manage to not lose my motivation!
20. take more pictures. i've been slacking on picture taking in recent years. this should be easily achieved, i am journaling my 30th year after all.
21. attend a chi-town shooters game. i went to so many railcats games this year, and considering i like hockey better than baseball, i think it's time to go to a shooters game.
22. listen to 12 bands i've never heard of before. wow, a music goal! imagine that!
23. organize my recipes. this just needs to get done! i keep losing things, i want to get them all transferred to the computer at some point.
24. play a 31 game series of 'phase 10' with 'becca. basically, we are crazy.
25. wear earrings. simple, right? i haven't done it in years, but i think it's time to attempt it again. plus i bought this cute pair as motivation.
26. attend 30 sporting events. yes, railcats games count.
27. watch all of james mcavoy's movies. have you seen james mcavoy? that's why.
28. go to the blackhawks convention. this was originally 'meet a blackhawks player' but i really want to go to the convention this year. i wanted to go last year but couldn't find anyone to go with. hopefully this year Steph can go. we shall see. :)
29. go on another ghost tour. they are fun. that is, when they are not being led by someone named 'scary mary.' mary was the only thing scary about that tour.
30. try fish. this may be the hardest one to accomplish. i hate fish. but it's healthy for you, so i'm going to force myself to try it just to see if i can stand it. pray for me.
1. send out christmas cards. sounds easy enough, right? yet i haven't done it in years! this will change.
2. do something that scares me. this just sounds interesting. ;)
3. go to a blackhawks game in detroit. this may just be the thing that scares me. my friend and i have been talking about it for a couple years now, but i haven't gone. we have friends that live near the D, so it's possible.
4. attempt to make madelines. i love these french cookies! i ate them everyday for breakfast in london. i've been wanting to make them for years, but haven't gotten around to it.
5. get my portfolio website up. i say this every year. i've gotten as far as designing the homepage, which now needs to be redesigned anyway. i have plenty of friends to help ... so i don't really have an excuse to not do it.
6. have a party. :) because i know fabulous people ... they should mingle.
7. journal my 30th year. stole this one from 'becca. i like the idea of it.
8. try 13 new recipes. i'm in a cooking rut. i need to try some new things. now accepting suggestions.
9. get a job. self-explanatory.
10. write a story. i use to love to write. i'm not saying i was any good at it, but i did enjoy it. i'm not saying anyone gets to read it either, but i'll write it.
11. go see lynn's new place. because any excuse to see lynn works for me.
12. learn something new about myself. i've learned a lot of things about myself this past year that i didn't know. i'd like to continue to do that.
13. visit 3 places i've never been. travel, travel, travel ... let's go! anyone have money?
14. make a pocket calendar. mainly because i want a pretty one.
15. go tanning. i've never been tanning before. i really need it, i am so white, i blind people as i walk by. so i must try tanning for the safety of the public.
16. secret. i don't know if i'll ever actually say what this goal is, but i will let you know if i accomplish it.
17. paint my office. i have the paint, but that's the closest i've come in 3 years to actually getting it done. hopefully i'll get it painted and then move out.
18. re-import all the music i lost when my hard drive crashed. blasted hard drive.
19. exercise more. because i need it. i need to somehow manage to not lose my motivation!
20. take more pictures. i've been slacking on picture taking in recent years. this should be easily achieved, i am journaling my 30th year after all.
21. attend a chi-town shooters game. i went to so many railcats games this year, and considering i like hockey better than baseball, i think it's time to go to a shooters game.
22. listen to 12 bands i've never heard of before. wow, a music goal! imagine that!
23. organize my recipes. this just needs to get done! i keep losing things, i want to get them all transferred to the computer at some point.
24. play a 31 game series of 'phase 10' with 'becca. basically, we are crazy.
25. wear earrings. simple, right? i haven't done it in years, but i think it's time to attempt it again. plus i bought this cute pair as motivation.
26. attend 30 sporting events. yes, railcats games count.
27. watch all of james mcavoy's movies. have you seen james mcavoy? that's why.
28. go to the blackhawks convention. this was originally 'meet a blackhawks player' but i really want to go to the convention this year. i wanted to go last year but couldn't find anyone to go with. hopefully this year Steph can go. we shall see. :)
29. go on another ghost tour. they are fun. that is, when they are not being led by someone named 'scary mary.' mary was the only thing scary about that tour.
30. try fish. this may be the hardest one to accomplish. i hate fish. but it's healthy for you, so i'm going to force myself to try it just to see if i can stand it. pray for me.
12.09.2009
health blog
so, i'm trying to catch up on the posts i've slacked off on ... however, as you can probably tell by those posts, i'm not having the best day. so they are all very short and kind of meh. i'm usually pretty good at the whole "i'm fine, all is good" thing, but it's just not happening today. so let me apologize for being such a downer. i wish that i was one of those kind of people that when they become so emotionally stressed out, they can throw themselves into a workout. that's not me ... i want to throw myself under the covers and bawl uncontrollably. how many calories can you burn crying?
today was the first day since thursday that i actually worked out. friday i just wanted to let my shoulder recover. which i still find strange since i haven't been doing any arm exercises ... but whatever. that muscle and i will always have issues. saturday and sunday i wasn't home. yesterday, i was just plain tired. my eyes were swollen and i decided instead to just go to bed. i've been eating decently though, except that cheeseburger tonight. i even was pretty good at game night on saturday ... although i did cave when my twinkie dessert started calling my name. i don't own a scale, so i have no clue if i've lost any weight. i have no desire to see that number. i usually just go by how my clothes fit.
okay ... i think i'm finally all caught up on everything. so i'm going to bed now ...
today was the first day since thursday that i actually worked out. friday i just wanted to let my shoulder recover. which i still find strange since i haven't been doing any arm exercises ... but whatever. that muscle and i will always have issues. saturday and sunday i wasn't home. yesterday, i was just plain tired. my eyes were swollen and i decided instead to just go to bed. i've been eating decently though, except that cheeseburger tonight. i even was pretty good at game night on saturday ... although i did cave when my twinkie dessert started calling my name. i don't own a scale, so i have no clue if i've lost any weight. i have no desire to see that number. i usually just go by how my clothes fit.
okay ... i think i'm finally all caught up on everything. so i'm going to bed now ...
12.08.2009
if you owned a movie theater, what kind of movies would you play?
... i would play empire records everyday at 1:37pm exactly. it's an excellent time.
... i would have "the brat pack" night and play the breakfast club, st. elmo's fire, sixteen candles and pretty in pink.
... i just may have a night dedicated to james mcavoy. oh, and johnny depp. maybe even jake gyllenhaal because any chance to show donnie darko should not be past up. i'd leave out bubble boy though.
... i would also have a tim burton night.
... i would have a mystery dinner theater night. i'd throw a mystery dinner. whodunit style. then show clue.
... i'd show titanic again. so i wouldn't have to sit in the front row.
... i would have "the brat pack" night and play the breakfast club, st. elmo's fire, sixteen candles and pretty in pink.
... i just may have a night dedicated to james mcavoy. oh, and johnny depp. maybe even jake gyllenhaal because any chance to show donnie darko should not be past up. i'd leave out bubble boy though.
... i would also have a tim burton night.
... i would have a mystery dinner theater night. i'd throw a mystery dinner. whodunit style. then show clue.
... i'd show titanic again. so i wouldn't have to sit in the front row.
12.07.2009
thoughts on God ...
i was raised catholic and attended catholic school for 13 years. one thing i came out of it sure of is that everyone needs to form their own relationship with God. they need to form their own opinions and beliefs. i do believe in God ... i also believe He probably gave up on me a long time ago.
it's been a bad day. sorry.
here's a pretty song though (again, i can't get the video to show, so here's the link for now ...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jhopfabQ6o
it's been a bad day. sorry.
here's a pretty song though (again, i can't get the video to show, so here's the link for now ...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jhopfabQ6o
12.06.2009
how to survive a tragedy
i'm not a very strong person. my emotions are usually always in overdrive, so i usually try to just become numb to the pain of a tragedy. i allow myself to fall apart and cry, but only behind closed doors. i don't really know if that's considered surviving the tragedy or just hiding from it.
12.05.2009
favorite school memories
i'll have to get back to you guys on this one. i know that some exist ... i just can't think of them right now.
12.04.2009
settling
according to death cab for cutie, this is the sound of settling:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pphrk6wE5aw
I can't get the video to show up on here for some reason :( so until I find out how to do that, the link will have to suffice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pphrk6wE5aw
I can't get the video to show up on here for some reason :( so until I find out how to do that, the link will have to suffice.
h&f: thursday edition
today i did manage to get on the treadmill and do one of the videos. i'm sure the girl leading the exercises is a very sweet lady, but i want to punch her in the face. i mean that in the most loving way possible. i am proud of the fact that i didn't give up half way through the video today :) it's not that it's very long - maybe a half hour/45 mins or so, but once i hit a move i just can't do i get frustrated and it's very easy to hit that stop button. there is this one exercise that i just can't figure out yet, so i've begun to just skip that one so i don't get so upset. i use it as my water break.
i ate pretty well today. half a cajun chicken sandwich for lunch ... that was the last of my chicken :( the meatloaf for dinner probably wasn't the best - i want to see if i can find wheat bread crumbs, then it might not be so bad. for a snack i had a piece of toast with some "i can't believe it's not butter" spray and some cinnamon sprinkled on it.
i need to find some exercises for arms. something that won't kill my shoulder. anyone have any suggestions?
final thought for the day: i need to stay away from infomercials!
i ate pretty well today. half a cajun chicken sandwich for lunch ... that was the last of my chicken :( the meatloaf for dinner probably wasn't the best - i want to see if i can find wheat bread crumbs, then it might not be so bad. for a snack i had a piece of toast with some "i can't believe it's not butter" spray and some cinnamon sprinkled on it.
i need to find some exercises for arms. something that won't kill my shoulder. anyone have any suggestions?
final thought for the day: i need to stay away from infomercials!
12.03.2009
12.02.2009
ouch!
so ... today my back hurts, it's really tight. i need to be careful because of that muscle in my shoulder, so i think i need to take it easy tonight. i'm about to get on the treadmill in a second, but i'm going to skip the video tonight and let my back/shoulder recover.
as far as eating ... today i had a sandwich for lunch and then cajun chicken for dinner. both on wheat bread. i will admit, i had a couple of those powered donuts (the tiny ones) ... addictive! so bad, i know. but they are gone ... no more temptation. why is it that if something is broken, like a donut or potato chip or something, you don't count it? oh, that one's broken ... so i'll just eat the pieces, it won't be as bad. who came up with that logic?
emotional well-being: um, yesterday was better. not the best day today. luckily it's over.
:)
alright treadmill ... let's get this over with.
as far as eating ... today i had a sandwich for lunch and then cajun chicken for dinner. both on wheat bread. i will admit, i had a couple of those powered donuts (the tiny ones) ... addictive! so bad, i know. but they are gone ... no more temptation. why is it that if something is broken, like a donut or potato chip or something, you don't count it? oh, that one's broken ... so i'll just eat the pieces, it won't be as bad. who came up with that logic?
emotional well-being: um, yesterday was better. not the best day today. luckily it's over.
:)
alright treadmill ... let's get this over with.
what i did on my summer vacation ...
this is how i started off my summer :) i had this lovely drink after sue and eric's wedding.it's my reward for not throwing up while doing the reading.
i was attacked by puppets.
i attended a lot of railcats games.i have more pictures somewhere ... but i'm not searching for them now.
went to colorado. went to the rockies game vs. the cubbies. went ghetto fabulous with lynn.
2nd annual trip to the stanley hotel. gorgeous.
went on a ghost tour of the stanley. see that little girl. that black thing next to her ... NOT A GHOST!
these people have never seen a shadow before.
rocky mountain state park. breathtaking.
literally ... try walking uphill when you are over 12,000 feet above sea level.
i thought my heart was trying to escape my chest.
oh canada ...
went to niagara over labor day weekend.
got some fancy poncho's. we loved them ...
... so we got them in blue too!
got some fancy poncho's. we loved them ...
... so we got them in blue too!overall it was an amazing summer. i wish i could go back and live it all over again. i miss it.
where is that time machine?
12.01.2009
health and fitness blog
when mel suggested fitness-related blogging i thought it was a fabulous idea. i'm hoping that by blogging about it and knowing other people that are doing the same thing, i might actually stick with it.
i'm like mel, i go through spurts of being good and then suddenly lose any and all motivation to continue on. my main thing is trying to exercise ... i hate exercising. i have spent so much money on various exercise tapes over the years, i'm good for like a week and a half, but then i get frustrated and quit. i don't really eat horribly, but i can be lazy as hell. i'm hoping to change that.
so, that being said ... i got my butt on the treadmill tonight. whew, go me! i also have a few different exercise tapes that i'm trying to incorporate into this whole thing. the one i've been using for a couple days is based on dancing. fun, right? you know what i've discovered? i am the definition of rhythmically challenged. i don't know how these women move their bodies like that, but mine just doesn't do it. there is this one tape that suppose to work on your abs. ("make them lean and flat" says the supermodel in the spandex. very encouraging, right?) i'm beginning to think that i do not have abs. after doing that workout - my arms hurt, my back hurts, my legs hurt, my head hurts ... but these supposed "abs" - nothing! it's things like that that usually make me eventually give up.
'becca made mention of her emotional health as well in her post. i think that's a good idea. a person's emotions tend to play a big role in things like this. so, let's see ... in terms of my emotional health ... today was better than it has been in awhile. i seemed to be able to look at things with more clarity. i'm not sure why that is, but i'm encouraged by it. maybe it was the weather. who knows, but i'll take it. one day at a time ...
i'm like mel, i go through spurts of being good and then suddenly lose any and all motivation to continue on. my main thing is trying to exercise ... i hate exercising. i have spent so much money on various exercise tapes over the years, i'm good for like a week and a half, but then i get frustrated and quit. i don't really eat horribly, but i can be lazy as hell. i'm hoping to change that.
so, that being said ... i got my butt on the treadmill tonight. whew, go me! i also have a few different exercise tapes that i'm trying to incorporate into this whole thing. the one i've been using for a couple days is based on dancing. fun, right? you know what i've discovered? i am the definition of rhythmically challenged. i don't know how these women move their bodies like that, but mine just doesn't do it. there is this one tape that suppose to work on your abs. ("make them lean and flat" says the supermodel in the spandex. very encouraging, right?) i'm beginning to think that i do not have abs. after doing that workout - my arms hurt, my back hurts, my legs hurt, my head hurts ... but these supposed "abs" - nothing! it's things like that that usually make me eventually give up.
'becca made mention of her emotional health as well in her post. i think that's a good idea. a person's emotions tend to play a big role in things like this. so, let's see ... in terms of my emotional health ... today was better than it has been in awhile. i seemed to be able to look at things with more clarity. i'm not sure why that is, but i'm encouraged by it. maybe it was the weather. who knows, but i'll take it. one day at a time ...
the color blue & its potential contributions to world peace
um ... yea.
well, the color blue is often referred to as a very calming color. it is said to symbolize trust, wisdom, loyalty, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth and heaven. I have no idea what this has to do with world peace. Maybe if people wore more blue ... or spent hours just staring at the ocean ... they would be happier and therefore less likely to pop a cap in someones ass. just sayin'.
... and i have to say, jonathan gives us such, um ... interesting topics ... so where is he?!
well, the color blue is often referred to as a very calming color. it is said to symbolize trust, wisdom, loyalty, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth and heaven. I have no idea what this has to do with world peace. Maybe if people wore more blue ... or spent hours just staring at the ocean ... they would be happier and therefore less likely to pop a cap in someones ass. just sayin'.
... and i have to say, jonathan gives us such, um ... interesting topics ... so where is he?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)